BY ANY OTHER NAME
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 When Colonel Culhane (Excuse me; I mean Mr. Ed) was a young man, long
before fast food was invented, his hobby was cultivating roses. Over the years, he became
too busy with the work of fighting crime and being the father of a sizable family and
was lucky if he even found time to "smell the roses", let alone grow them.Eventually, his kids grew up and moved away. Mr. Ed and his lovely
wife Pat had more time for themselves. He took a renewed interest in his boyhood hobby.
And, armed with his trusty garden weasel, our resourceful lawman became an even bigger
thorn in the side of the forces of lawlessness.What Mr. Ed did is not as outlandish as it might seem at first
glance. All across America, law enforcement agencies are inventing new ways of analyzing
crime problems in their communities and coming up with imaginative new tactics for
preventing crimes from happening in the first place. We call this problem-solving
policing.If planting roses and sprucing up neighborhoods discourages crime
and vandalism, they certainly belong in the repertoire of every police department in the
land.THE ROSE IS THE RUSE Culhane one morning was incensed By what the daily news dispensed. It seems that crime was out of hand In every town throughout the land. Yes, everywhere the Colonel looked Some crook was begging to be booked. His Troopers worked around the clock. Their strategy was deeds, not talk. But though they worked with all their might The end of it came not in sight. The newsmen came to see our boy. Said: "Well now, Colonel, what's your ploy?" The Colonel had an answer, sure; Though strangely cryptic and obscure. But they were deadlined, rushed and harried And later on the airwaves carried This quote on all the evening news: "A rose is a rose is the ruse!" Well, off he went to URI To meet with some genetics guy Who'd made a name for working wonders Producing monster floribundas. Said: "Doc, the thing that I do mean To find's a most specific gene. A boon to all society: A brand new rose variety To grow throughout the state with ease And in crooks alone cause allergies." Once, the Romans in alarm Called Cincinnatus from his farm. And he in hand took reins of state. His gardening just had to wait. Culhane, you see, would not have gone. Instead, he rototilled his lawn. He plowed and planted, weaseled, hoed Poured horse manure on by the load. And then betook himself to sit Upon his deck to read a bit. The sun shone down. The rain fell soft. And soon enough began to waft Through all the land that lovely smell That of the blooming rose does tell. Well, soon the pollen in the breezes Brought itchy eyes and hives and sneezes To every bad guy in the state. And so did crime at last abate. Go To TABLE OF CONTENTS  Questions? E-mail Us! CONSTANTINE'S CIRCUS, INC. PO Box 7223 Capitol Station Albany, NY 12224-0223 518-465-4413 518-465-3200 FAX |
